Some conversations I had at work today.

 

With some men from some company having a conference at Shendish Manor. So boring as I don’t have a huge lot to do as they had a private bar and drank mostly pints and posh whisky.

Though the French ones made me laugh:

“Do you have a coaster?”
“For what, sir, your wine glass?”
“Yes please".”
“Sorry monsieur, we do not have any coasters for your wine glass..”

The American ones:

“We were having a gamble regarding your age; tell me, is it below or above 20?”
He thinks I look around 20?! “Below.”
“Ahh, I see. How much below?”
“Just one year, I’m nineteen.”
“Okay, thank you.”
He blatantly doesn’t believe me. Runs away.

The Embarrassing ones:

“Can I have a pint of Fosters please?”
“Sorry, we’re out of Fosters.”
“Oh, in that case I’ll have a Guinness.”
“Sorry, we don’t have that either.” Sheepish smile.
“Guinness Extra Cold, then.”
“Um, they’re from the same tap…”
“Right, so what do you have on tap?”
“Heineken, Bulmers and John Smith’s.”
Later on, John Smith’s ran out. Later later on, Heineken ran out. We stole a Foster’s keg from the Golf bar. Cue awkward explanation of why suddenly we have Fosters when we said it was out.
“We’re expecting a delivery tomorrow.”

The Annoying ones:

“Can I have a bottle of still water?”
“Sorry sir, we have ran out, we only have sparkling but I can go check in the restaurant if they have any there.”
A few minutes later, returning empty handed I see his face gloom over as I come into the bar empty handed.
“Sorry sir we really don’t have any left. Can I get you a glass of tap water?”
“No. I drink from bottled.”
“We really have nothing left, there’s nothing I can do, sorry. We’re low on stock right now.” GET THE FUCK OVER IT YOU STUPID FRENCH MAN.
“So what am I supposed to drink if I do not have a pint or a soft drink?”
“A glass of tap water?”
“Non! I drink from the bottle!”
“There’s literally nothing I can do, sorry.”
“So what will happen tomorrow morning when you need water?”
“We take it from the tap, sir…”
“So is there no bottled water for the conference tomorrow?”
“Sorry, I have no idea… Like I said, we are expecting a delivery tomorrow..”
French man walks away after waving me away, in a mood. Fagfagfag.

I have nothing against the French, but when you are THAT picky about something as silly as water, that really pisses me off. Fun times, la! I just hope the Italian aren’t as bad :) Can’t wait can’t wait til Wednesday.